GOD DAMMIT FLEA!
by xVictoriaRavenx
Summary: Just some pointless stuff to make you laugh...Shizaya...Erika's fangirl mind...Rabbit hole to Narnia...Cussing...ME!...LAWLZ I OWN NONE OF THE DURARARA! CHARACTERS safely Rated M for all the cussing


GOD DAMMIT FLEA!

This has no point! ONLY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH! If you want this to be Shizaya…Let it be Shizaya if you don't, then GET A LIFE LAWLZ! Nahhh I am just kidding *smirk* or am I? DUNDUNDAAA! Dammit! Someone do the Disclaimer! NOW BEFORE I SHOVE THIS BROOM STICK UP YO ASS!

Shizuo: Fuck you

Me: Save the fucking for Iza-ni! Asshole

Izaya: SHIZUO GONNA FUCK ME!

Shizuo: She doesn't own any of us…thank god

Me: Heard that!

Shizuo: bitch

~O~O~OO~O~O~O~O~OO~OO~O~O~OO~O~O~O~O~OO~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

Shizuo is walking down the street, cigarette in mouth and not a care in the world. Sadly someone had to ruin that peaceful scene, his name is Izaya Orihara. How did he ruin it? Well he jumped on Shizuo's back and bit his neck. Lets have a look shall we?

Izaya crept up behind the walking monster, careful not to make a sound. Once he was in a good distance of the unsuspecting blonde, he sprung forward and latched onto Shizuo's neck, sinking his teeth into his neck. BOY WAS SHIZUO PISSED! Shizuo thrashed around yelling. "GOD DAMMIT FLEA! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

"No I am a vampire!" Izaya bit harder into his neck, successfully causing some blood to leak out of the small gash. Izaya name nomming noises as he continued to bite and suck on Shizuo's neck. Shizuo blushed and grabbed the flea by his raven locks.

"You son of a bitch! You bit me!" Shizuo yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Of course I did Shizu-chan…*insert sigh here* I am a vampire! I need blood to survive!" Izaya smirked.

"You are not a damn VAMPIRE! You are a flea!" Shizuo was so mad, that their was probably fume coming out of his mouth, and ears.

"Flea's suck blood!" Izaya grins slyly. "So I need blood"

"Asshole, just leave me alone!" Shizuo shouts.

"Shi-Shizu-chan! *insert dramatic pose* I LOVE YOU!"

"Shut the fuck up." Shizuo stuck another cigarette in his mouth, because apparently he had lost his other one when Izaya was playing piggy-back…Fucking Flea. Izaya pouts and actually cries.

"You don't believe me do you?" Tears slip down Izaya's cheeks. People were starting to stare at them.

"Uhhh Quit crying dammit…Come on flea you are making a damn scene!" Shizuo sighs "People are starting to stare so could you please shut the fuck up? I asked nicely!"

"WHAAAAAAAAA! You are so insensitive Shizu-chan! Breaking a girl's heart!" Izaya sobs.

!WAIT PAUSE THE SCENE!

Shizuo: Girl? Did he really say girl!

Me: um yes, yes he did! Now can we go back to the scene?

Shizuo: Sure

!BACK TO THE SCENE!

People were giving Shizuo really dirty looks, like looks you give the little girl from Kindergarten that took your favorite teddy, and you can't get it fucking back because that bitch told you she lost it! Then she has the damn guts to bring the teddy to school the next god damn day and wave it in yo face and you just want to beat the SHIT outta her but you can't because it is fucking naptime!…(Shizuo: You have a lot of problems…NOW WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! Me: Oh um sorry…Got carried away…)

As I was saying, people were giving him really dirty looks. And all he wanted to do was smoke his god forsaken cigarette! So to shut the crying and wailing flea he did the only thing he could. (Shizuo: I smashed him with a vending machine? Me: No! We are going to leave the vending machines alone ok. Izaya: He punched me? Me: GOD DAMMIT NO! SHUT UP!) He kissed Izaya, Izaya smirked and began to kiss back. Then Masaomi ran by and screamed "DAYYYUMMM!" (Shizuo: That was the worst ending ever. Me: Its not over Izaya: Could it be over though? Me: NO!) Then a car…(Izaya: BOOORRRING! I WANT TO TYPE THE ENDING!)

Izaya's Ending 3: A pick-up truck hits Masaomi, and he goes flying all the way to Cuba. Izaya reaches for the knife in his coat pocket and shanks Shizuo in the stomach, and then Namie walks by and falls into the rabbit hole to Narnia. And Mikado dies by some gangster rabid squirrels.

Me: That's it? THAT is your ohhh so godly ending?

Shizuo: What the hell were you expecting?

Izaya: I like it!

Shizuo: Let me type the ending you idiots!

Shizuo's ending: Masaomi leaves the scene as Shizuo lifts a vending machine and is about to crush the damned flea. Shizuo hurls the vending machine at the running flea, and it finally crushes him. Everyone throws a giant damn parade for Shizuo, and the flea is dead.

Shizuo: Better right?

Me: I thought I said we were leaving the vending machines alone!

Izaya: That ending sucked

Shizuo: At least it didn't have…A rabbit hole to Narnia? That's not even right! It's a rabbit hole to Wonderland!

Izaya: Why can't it be Narnia!

Me: *sigh*

Masaomi: I want to type the ending

Me: Knock yourself out

Masaomi's ending: Masaomi fires a rocket launcher and completely blows up Shizuo and Izaya. Everyone in Ikebukuro runs and lifts Masaomi into the air and carries him around like a true hero! And he was forever know as the boy who slain the Monster and the Flea! All the boobylicious girls come and have lights-out dance parties with Masaomi!

Me: Really? *cough* that was…uhhh interesting?

Masaomi: It was perfect! Every story should end like that!

Shizuo and Izaya: We get blown up!

Erika: Can I type the ending?

Me: Sure

Erika's Ending YEAH!: Shizuo swoops Izaya into his arms, and they continue their hot make-out session! Masaomi has a nose bleed, as do the other residents around to see this wonderful and most glorious scene. Shizuo and Izaya get married, and have 400 BABIES!

Me: 400?

Erika: Hell yeah!

Shizuo: Damn

Izaya: But I am a boy

Erika: SHUT UP AND LET ME DREAM!

Masaomi: KooKooKooKoo! *points at Erika*

Izaya: Shizuo I want to have your babies now

Shizuo: *face palm*

Me: *face palms too*

~O~O~O~O~O~O~OO~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~OO~O~O~OO~O~O~O~

Hehehehe hope you liked it and laughed! I owe it to my cousin for making me stay up to type this


End file.
